Home

I'm looking for home
A solid foundation
I'm looking for home
A birth of a nation
I'm looking for home
A place I cannot flee
I'm looking for home
Something that is a part of me
I'm looking for home
I am just a wonderer
I'm looking for home
I feel like it is further
I'm looking for home
Can you guide me?
I'm looking for home
A place that I can be
I'm looking for home
Where the rules do not apply
I'm looking for home
A place where I can fly
I'm looking for home
The land so serene
I'm looking for home
And what it can mean
I'm looking for home
For everything is real
I'm looking for home
A place for a kind meal
I'm looking for home
Does it exist?
I'm looking for home
Where people put down their fist
I'm looking for home
Is it all just a dream?
I'm looking for home
Is this all it may seem?
I'm looking for home
Where mothers and fathers
And brothers and sisters
Stand together
I'm looking for home
A place that cannot deter
Home
Is it down a certain path?
I'm looking for home
It takes me away
From all the pain
And I turn to you
And ask
Where do I belong?
For when I think about it
I just drift along.

Point Blank

I'm going crazy thinking about you

Take your words and pierce me right through

Does it look like I give a damn anymore

So shoot me point-blank

Get out of my mind Get out get out

You have no idea what you've done to me

So leave me leave me leave me

To die here alone.

You pulled me closer to your misery

You touched me told me

And I felt it in my soul

And now you leave me leave me

To die here alone

So why don't you just shoot me shoot me point blank

I knew that this would end

But I was high in the air

My wings graced the wind next to you

Though it was wrong to love you

You can't tell me what I can or cannot feel for you

There is one thing I will never control

Cuz I don't care I will let my feelings go

And does it look like I give a Damn

Shoot me point blank

I hurt low inside

my chest seems numb

I hurt my own self

You refuse to let yourself go

To run toward me

To kiss me once more

And finally I am alive

Yes I am alive and the pain of regret will consume me

Forgetting you is trouble

Lurking next to my heart

You were never mine

I'm picking up the pieces

That I left behind

I don't ever want you to understand

Time will not mend

Too long is what I regret

I'm going crazy thinking about you  

take your words and pierce me right through

Does it look like I give a damn

So shoot me point-blank

And Leave me to die alone

Wings of Glory

Is what I feel the whole world's weight upon my shoulders or is it my own guilt for it that has dragged me down?
How will I ever know?
When it is easy to point fingers and sabatoge love for anger.
Could it be that true passion lies within the beauty of self realization?
Or do masks unviel painted faces of glory?
Can hope defeat mockery?
While lies are wisped to create a sense of ideology that embraces nothing but agendas laying naked on bedsides of lions and tigers.
Flocks of sheeps are triggered by wolves of assumption,
Weeding out rams of ambition toward a waterless cliff.
Plundering like a wingless bird blinded by its lack of movement.
We stand together yet lose balance against our deepest misunderstandings.
And change will never become a white stallion galloping through like
thunder on top of an ageless mountain.
So gather up your news and stand firm.
Your day will come but it will be far too late to awaken the sun.

Refugee's Return

An old man walks silently among the olive branches

He sweeps his hand across each one,

His open arms embrace the fall and carry their limp figure toward the ground.

The ground feels his weight,

And once more the Earth trembles and weeps

Once more its tears flow rivers

Its mountains shake 

The sky dims its light.

Once more shadows fall among the lifeless roots 

And once more the man walks

Through the dust and sees another

His wrinkles barely noticed,

His brow still firm, his gaze steady.

He looks into the horizon across the land

Once more barren and terrorized

Once more savaged and naked

Once more footprints no longer seen.

He lays his head next to the soil

That grew and embraced the olive tree

Buried beneath emerging souls

A smile draws on his face

Whispers of words echo in the distance, 

The land awakens and welcomes the rhythm

Still alive to feel the touch of its people.

Identity of a Refugee

Somewhere along the border I left myself
Between chaos and sanity
I have entered a land I do not know
I was given a name
I was recognized for what I was.

Somewhere along the border I left myself
I let go of everything I knew
I was told to learn their language
And so I became one of them
I was recognized for my efforts
To spread my culture across
Though they listened well
And our tears flowed in unison,
My heart ached within
They could not understand
The hurt that I felt for my homeland.

Somewhere along the border I left myself
This pleases me well enough
To look back and say I have done
What others could not do
Luck was alongside me
And my misery grows strong
Knowing deep within that I have done wrong.

Somewhere along the border I left myself
And I ask for sympathy
Though I do not want you to understand
My fear stops me from leaving
What I feel guilty of building
And the work and help given
Days of routine and endless content
I have broken my intention
I do not seek what my soul desires
Friendships I do not feel
For I have become what I dread.

Somewhere along the border I left myself
My values are no longer mine
I am lured by the outside
I have forsaken empty promises
Greed has ventured inside
And to you I will plead
Behind my family weeps
In front is my future
I have nothing to tell my children
Except stories of my memories,
Nothing to touch anymore
I have gained an identity
A new life with no war.

Overcome

I tread my feet alongside my heavy heart,
Hoping one day you will join me again.
Though you only desire your misery to lead you
Not wanting anyone to understand.
So push through, for I push through
Fears do not hold me
They lead you along
A road that only you can follow
Drenched with calm I will Lay
Against your empty touch
That's stolen my tenderness Away.
Walk alongside your reflection,
Your back shuns my shadow,
I draw near and you draw far
Closer to a dimmed moon
In the air of the still night
Like a hungry wolf searching the mountain
To pull water from an empty well.
With dismay, you will return
Empty soul and a strong stride
Nothing is left for you to wonder
But what was there plunged deeper
For truth cannot be dispersed
If it was meant for you to belong.
Reach inside and hold on
And cross paths again,
What you seek is what you have already found.

Within Us

I cry these tears only in front of You
I cry because I don't know anymore
So I turn to You gasping for air.
My heart is aching by my weakened soul
I have tampered too long with blazing fire
And I long for Your desire inside.
I no longer wish to wait
I step and You will come rushing to my side,
And I'll rip my chest open for You
Knowing that You were meant for me all along.

The mind and the Heart

Separate entities: the mind, the heart

The mind: unbending, direct, envisioning, sound, logical, uncanny, skeptical.

 The heart: loose, faltering, desire-driven, attached, unsure, craving.

When unified: humane, courageous, risk taking, ambitious, eager, genuine passion.

 We learn through our trials and realizations that we can be capable of adjusting our perceptions. We can believe others have goodness and we can become non judgmental. 

 Thus we build our own internal character by intertwining our mind and heart to not just show compassion, but to live our words. We pass on the notion of selfish antics and we become human; what we were meant to be all along. 

Needs and Wants

You want something so bad that you begin to need it, because of the want, it becomes a need. I want to feel human again, to fall in love to get hurt to cry away the pain. I don't mind to fall hard, I just want to feel. Maybe one day I will see that the pain was worth it because it will make me feel alive again. 

We live our days in minutes and hours, we build ourselves because we have nothing else, it keeps us busy preoccupied. 

Moments of humanity are far greater than any path toward money.

We are individuals, capable of understanding ourselves on a deeper level and building our inner self confidence. However, we allow the collective part of society hinder our perceptions. Our subconscious, seeps ideas into our very individual natures and we begin to consciously make decisions based on internal notions that we didn't even realize has a profound effect on us. Our easy jobs we stick to them because society has formulated this concept of needing to work to pay the bills and we brush the very essence of our individualism: it could have been a passion of ours- that's why most people are miserable in their jobs or stick to what they know because it's our comfort zone because we hear that so much we make it a part of our lives. 

Being a true individual is to think on your own to figure out what's right for you to grow and no one else. Same goes for love. For instance, we get into relationships stay in some forfeit others, we state I can't be with that person and move on. Is that us talking or is it the songs, other past relationships, friends relationship stories that bring us to this conclusion. So I say screw it all! Perhaps these stories are actually showing us that we need to do the total opposite. 

To be an individual and love is to be with someone you cannot be with, defy everything you have been afraid of and to risk it all (love, work personal- then you can truly know if that's the best for you)  It will only work if you are in a state to let it work, meaning nothing is holding you down, you have to be free to do this kind of move, and then you'll know and only then will you truly know.

Broken Seeds

Innocence has been buried with the lives that have been lost
When children's' lives are about playing with guns to mimic and foreshadow their future roles in a forgotten land.

Then all hope has been demolished
With the olive trees that surrounded peace
Uprooted by grim stones of seduction
Which has been laid to rest with the unborn child
With the birth of a generation that no longer has childhood
That cannot have a longing for what is yet to come.
Marching soldiers and tanks is in their sight
Their future is a war that they do not understand.
Thrown in without knowing
It's a world that's not their own
Their eyes only see what it can comprehend.
Its force creates monsters
When their fed stories and images of death,
While their hunger grows deep within,
No longer the joys of sweetness,
But bitter awakening to a world that has stolen and raped their mind
Of wonders that they will never know
Of dreams that they will never summon.
As the armed draws them in,
With blind eyes we see,
And with faulty hearts we feel
Nothing can comprehend what cannot be felt.
On bent knees we bow,
With teary eyes we give,
The child will not answer our calls.

Wingless

I am a bird that has lost its wings

Flightless

I cry in pain for I am bound

Drifting slowly into solitude

Pushed

The weight of stupidity doesn't wait

Broken

Mimicking awaiting flocks

We are alike

We break no boundaries

We desire no goal

We wait for another

To do what seems necessary

I am a flightless bird

No wings, no wonders

I have chosen

Will you wait with me?

Endless

I lack in my heart what I cannot give
Ideal statements plunder through pierced lips
Agony trails behind trenches of greed
Solemn binds, everlastingly live
Weakened await foul play
Blinking wonders trail behind
Shuttered glows blown through seldom may
Awaken sickened souls
That mean no harm
Portrayals of sweet painless thoughts,
Believing seems enough rolls
Away into bottomless pits
No one hears their cry.
I cannot have what I cannot give.
Weary eyed, we try once again
And thus the cycle begets.

Downfall

It hurts to remember

I don’t want to remember

What have I become

Nothing

I am nothing

Deep

Seeking pity

Nothing

Where has the strength gone?

Falling useless pits of agony

Streaks of salt touch warm shadows

What am I?

Silent eyes blinking at a reflected image

Am I what I do not seem?

I have lived and I am living.

We wonder what we are

And forget what we can become

We fear more what we can see than the unknown

Shame laughs at our sorrow

Seeking pleasure from our downfalls,

We rise to meet the welcome.

Seekers of the Truth

"Sometimes I write not for myself, I writer for the truth."

Provoked by the innocent

A sudden awakening

Jolted numbers wash ashore

Lifeless treads across concrete jungles

Mask petty desires of an open hand.

Gulps of shallow air

Reaking drafts pulling in

Floating souls below broken-winged doves

 Silence burdens weighted lips

A pen's stroke soon lifted

Still motions grasped violently

A single mark outnumbered

By shunned laughter along distant waves.

Among few, truth is sought

Outdated falsehoods are swept aside

The temperament of the heart confounded

Although single drops of hope remains

Flush of certainty it will become.

Tears Apart

It is sad that we are

Drowning in our sorrow

While the world crumbles and

Rips itself apart.

Our sorrow mocks us

Causing tears to shed

While a lost boy aches

For his mother

How can these tears that we

Shed give us pity,

And agony of a mother

Not give?

How has shame gone to rot

Among the lying bodies

That are forgotten

Deep in the earth

That trembles and shakes

Like awakened nights

Without a loved one beside us.

The warmth of a touch

On the cold face

Of an infant in an everlasting dream.

While our dreams are forgotten

To chase the smiles

That were once stories being told

Around glowing eyes

Which have become but

Endless terror in an open prison.

As the whistleblower blows the news,

And the falterer hears the sound

On deafening ears it hums. 

Stricken

Point of View

Subliminal undertones of mass media and mass society has affected our essence of being human thus limiting our logic for justice. Critical thinking is perceived with criticism undermining individuality. We no longer view viewpoints as being black and white, but more so as my right and your wrong.

Losing Time

I do not know who I am nor will I ever know
Distanced from reality yet far from illusion
Nothing is in between
What can be left when morals are no longer valid
And truths are suppressed with falsehood
I do not know who I am nor will I ever know
A far outcry
Nothing is easily grasped
And nothing is far from reach
There is no in between
Faulty hands shake traitors
Strong hearts are taken
How can I be and nothing is to be
Images blind sound minds
Numbing every edge
Like a dormant giant
That cannot be awakened
Slumbering past injustice
While evil is eminent
I do not know who I am nor will I ever know
Tranquil thoughts surrounded
Pleasure soon confounded
Empty pathways toughen
Veered directions shattered
Nothing is forgotten
And nothing is remembered
Vivid memories weighted
Perception is outdated
I do not know who I am nor will I ever know
There is no hope
And there is no waiting
In a distanced time
I do not tread
I do not dream
I do not think
Freedom is not heard
And devotion is unkept
No battles fought
No lies to emerge
I do not know who I am nor will I ever know
Illusion is reality and reality is an illusion
It is set for the believer
And the wind takes its toll

Drowning Heart

You’re drowning your heart

It barely keeps afloat

Clinging by the scars it had been dealt

Those scars are not battle wounds, but subdued

By your own hands.

Gasping for breath, it desires to lunge past the broken promises

And shattered dreams.

(And only you can be in control)

Hopeless wonders tears its flesh,

Beckoning you to shield its weakness.

Lost passion, driven by lust

It is breaking away from its origin, plunging deeper into sorrow.

You have denied your heart its comfort and it will come

To destroy you.

Not abruptly, but slowly

It will drown you

Just like you have so advertently done to it!

Individualism: Thoughts

Helping others to help themselves gain self-awareness and self-growth allows me to be an individual. The craving, just like when someone devotes their time, the majority of it, to bring others what they need through film…that is individualism.

It’s all in the sense of the universe. We work and strive to obtain internal gratification, but we never realize that because of every step we make, every choice we make, that someone else’s choice is being affected. True individualism is an artificial idea that floats around without cause because our humanistic values in the purest form reflect a little human touch. And that one human touch is a simple realization that others exist. And if another exists in our mind, then it breaks and challenges individualism. We can be reflected as one, but without each other how can we exist? In order to be an individual, others need to know you exist, if you cease to exist in any one person’s life or mind, you can no longer be. (Survival is an exception and of course I think therefore I am is to be alive).